Just a quick little update to say that my sister Amber is having a baby boy! She got the genetic results back last Thursday and she tortured us by not telling us on our group text thread for over 10 minutes because she was waiting for her husband to get home to tell him first.
My gut feeling has always been that it's a boy and several of the silly wives' tale gender tests indicated it would be a boy. I also knew it would be a boy when Amber had a long list of baby girl names (first and middle) but none for a boy. lol surprise! For an immediate family of nothing but girls (it's just my mom and 2 sisters), I think it'll be a nice change to have a little boy in the family. We're all excited for sure.
Amber finally made her official pregnancy announcement on Facebook. I work with a lot of young women around my age and soooo many of them are pregnant right now. It feels like I see a new announcement every day lol.
In non-baby-related news, I'm strongly considering weight loss surgery again. I have struggled with my weight since middle school and my weight just continues to creep up over the years. I've only ever been able to lose weight on 2 occasions on my own. I lost 30 lbs in 2007 (going from 190 to 160) and I lost 10 lbs in 2018 (going from 240 to 230). Of course, I have gained it all back and then some. I feel like every year I'm saying "I'm now the heaviest I've ever been". Luckily, I haven't gained any more since my 10 lb pandemic gain and I'm still maintaining around the upper 250s.
Sigh. I just don't see myself being able to lose significant amounts of weight on my own. I need to lose at least 100 lbs. I would love to weigh 160 lbs. Hell, I would love just to be under 200 freaking lbs. There are absolutely habits I could and should change that would make a difference now, such as cutting back on wine significantly and eating healthier snacks when I get home from work. I also need to start walking again. So while I can and should do those things, I still don't think I will lose 100 lbs doing those things. I just don't see any other way because fad diets do not work for me. I know the keto diet seems to be pretty effective at helping people drop significant weight, but I just can't eat like that. I need something realistic and sustainable.
My friend Brittany, who I recently reconnected with, had the gastric sleeve procedure about 10 years ago. Sadly, she has regained her weight and then some back and she's looking into doctors who would be willing to re-do the procedure. I'm meeting up with her this weekend and I'm going to ask her more about her experience with weight loss surgery.
My biggest fear about weight loss surgery is not the procedure itself, but about what life will be like afterward. I know I will absolutely lose a lot of weight and that's so exciting because that has never happened to me before. BUT - I do love food and I worry I won't really be able to eat much or enjoy it anymore. For example, if you get the gastric sleeve, they permanently remove 50-70% of your stomach so your stomach only holds like a cup of food at a time. You also have to take vitamins for the rest of your life to avoid deficiencies since you're eating so much less and might not get what is needed. I don't know, that just sounds intense. I guess you obviously can stretch your stomach back out as Brittany seems to have done, but...I just want to still be able to enjoy food. I realize that enjoyment might just be different with much less food than before.
I should try to make positive, healthy changes on my own before I consider something so drastic, but I just don't see myself being able to lose the significant amount that I really need to for my health. I'm only 5'2 and I've weighed over 200 lbs since 2013. I'm considered morbidly obese and can expect to lose 10 years off my life if I don't get this weight off.
I think going for a consultation couldn't hurt. What do I have to lose? Well, significant amounts of weight! I can't even imagine what I would look like at a normal weight. I'm so used to seeing this big body with a double chin, no neck, big gut, and fat ass. Becoming a normal weight could ACTUALLY happen if I do this. Otherwise, I just see myself becoming like my aunts. They're both older and still big and fat, suffering from high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. I definitely don't want diabetes! I'm at risk of that now if I don't start to make some changes.
I'm talking about making changes when I know full well that tomorrow (my 33rd birthday), I will be spending the day at home since I took it off from work, eating whatever I want, and watching my shows. I've already requested fried chicken for dinner. No diet ever starts on a birthday! lol
10:40 a.m. - Tuesday, Nov. 02, 2021
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