Time for some updates.
As you may or may not know, Nick's family is originally from Chicago (and he was born there). Most of his immediate family lives in the South now, but there are still plenty of aunts/uncles/cousins/etc. that still live in Chicago or the general mid-West. K, Nick's younger sister, got accepted into college up there, so at the end of August, I made the trip up there to help her move into her dorm. Nick hasn't been to Chicago in like, 12 years, but he has some mental block against going there. Anytime Chicago is mentioned, he badmouths the city and how overrun with crime it is, etc. We all understand Chicago does have a high crime rate, but that doesn't mean it's 100% unsafe to visit. He still refused to come despite his sister needing help with moving into her dorm. So lame! So, we did what we did with the Europe trip this summer - we went without him. Stay home and stay mad, damn.
I'm very glad I went to Chicago. I had never been before and my main purpose of going was not to see the town but to help K get moved into her dorm. Since we all flew there, K essentially had nothing for her dorm room, so we knew we needed to go shopping. My MIL invited Kathleen, her friend from high school, over to our Airbnb and this lady turned out to be a godsend. She was fun, positive, and upbeat, and she even offered to take us shopping in her Honda Pilot SUV since we didn't have a car. So, we all went to Target, where we spent several hours and $1400 buying basically everything K would need to live on her own. It turned out to be a very good thing that Kathleen and I were there as my MIL and K kind of instantly got overwhelmed with everything we needed to get and do once we were in Target. K got discouraged as she wasn't finding exactly what she needed and was stalling, even though we had 100000 things to get and needed to keep things moving. My MIL also was beginning to get calls from her parents that L (Nick's brother) wasn't doing well, so much so that she called Nick and told him that he needed to go see about L as soon as possible. Nick immediately requested the next day off from work and drove the hour and a half to his grandparents' house. With my MIL distracted with thoughts about L and K becoming overwhelmed, Kathleen and I took it upon ourselves to keep the shopping momentum going. Once she got on a roll, K started making decisions more easily and we eventually got everything on the list. Success!
Our Airbnb was in a very nice area close to K's school with tons of shops and restaurants within walking distance, so we walked to a nearby Mediterranean restaurant for dinner that night. By the way - I am from the South, where it is often hotter than 40 hells in August - but the first two days I was in Chicago, there was an unbearable heat wave with the heat index up to 112 during the day! It was terrible. My point in mentioning that is that I became a glistening goddess covered in sweat walking to and from the restaurant in the evening heat (which was still in the upper 90s!!!). I picked a fish dish that featured "walleye" - a fish I had never heard of - and it was good although K's dish of short rib gnocchi definitely won for best dish.
The next day was move in day at K's school. Kathleen very generously offered to help us move K in as she did have all of the Target shopping in her trunk, after all. I was dreading the move in as it was still hot and I knew K's room was on the 4th floor (the elevator only goes up to the 3rd). However, I was soon very impressed as her school had TEAMS of current students who came out in swarms with giant rolling bins. Between the giant rolling bin and 10 student volunteers, we got K's ENTIRE Target haul up to her room in ONE trip! That was so amazing. K luckily has a single dorm room as she was adamant she didn't want to live with anyone else (she has anxiety). Her room is in an older dorm that doesn't have air conditioning (I would literally DIE) and is pretty simple with just a twin bed, a desk with a hutch, a walk-in closet, and a sink with a mirror. It was definitely warm in her room, but we quickly unboxed her two new fans and got them going. Once again, my MIL and K kind of got overwhelmed with everything that needed to be done to the dorm room, so Kathleen and I again took over and basically got the room together. Once everything was put out, the room actually turned out super cute! While K appeared to pick things at Target impulsively just to get the shopping over with, everything she picked actually went together incredibly well, aesthetically. Her bedspread was white with a soft green vine design and she picked a white cozy lamp, a wooden rustic side table, and cute little fake plants. We also strung up two sets of twinkle lights which made the whole room very cozy and inviting. It's amazing what decor does to a room!
After getting everything into the room and unpacked, we realized there were some other things K needed, so Kathleen once again graciously offered to take us shopping again. This time we hit up Walmart looking for the final things needed and while there, N called me and said that when he got to the lake house the previous night, L was disoriented and having another psychotic episode, so the grandparents called an ambulance. Nick rode in the back of the ambulance with L to the hospital and the grandfather followed behind. They kept him overnight for observation and then ended up sending him to a psych ward at a state hospital out of town the next day, about a two hour drive from the grandparents' house. I was in complete shock that L had had another episode. My MIL heard I was talking to Nick and when I got off the phone, she immediately came up to me and asked if everything was okay. I said yes and that Nick would be calling soon to give her some updates. She very heartbreakingly asked if L was still alive, and that almost broke me. I told her yes of course, but that he did end up needing to go to the hospital and that he was transferred to a psych ward at a state hospital. I couldn't NOT tell her. A mother should never have to worry if her son is still alive, it was so awful. So we got this news as we were still in the middle of shopping for K's dorm and it was just a lot. My MIL wanted to call her parents to get the details but we still had a lot to do for K's dorm. We finished shopping and went back to K's dorm to finalize her room, which I mainly did as my MIL stepped away to call Nick and her parents to get the full details about L.
That night, we went to my MIL's half-sister's house for dinner. I'm not sure if I've ever told this story before, but before Nick's grandparents got married, Nick's grandmother got pregnant out of wedlock and had to give the baby, a girl, up for adoption in 1967 (that's just what was done then!). In the mid-2000s, my MIL got a letter saying that she had a biological sister who had been adopted and that she was seeking her biological mother. The family secret was out. The family has all since gotten super close to Sonya (not her real name) as if we've all been family all along. She still lives in Chicago with her husband and son, who's L's age. Sonya and her husband were in the process of remodeling their house, but they still had us over for a cookout. We had hamburgers and sat around catching up. It had been a few years since I had seen Sonya and her family, and they were very glad to see me in Chicago. Everyone asked why Nick didn't come and we all kind of shrugged at that, though my MIL described him as being like a "grumpy old man" who can be set in his ways and never want to leave his own home and town. He is like that! My MIL opened up to Sonya about everything that was going on with L and she immediately offered to have L come live with her, away from all of his contacts and access to drugs. My MIL was very gracious about that offer, so we'll see if that ever happens.
The next day, there was a Welcome Day at K's school with scheduled activities that K had to go to, so my MIL and I went with her. Before we went out, something very exciting happened - I scored tickets to see Lana Del Rey in concert! She announced that she's doing a handful of concerts in the South this fall, so I jumped on them! At first, I was very uncertain if I was going to get any tickets at all as the website told me that "2000+ people are ahead of you in line" when I got on the website selling tickets. I had even gotten on 10 minutes before the sale started! Luckily, the numbers dwindled down and it was finally my turn. I wanted seats in the middle front section but all seemed to be sold out, but I'm still toward the front off to the right! I've invited my bff, Brittany, to come with me. She's my concert buddy! The tickets were definitely expensive, but I make good money now and don't have kids, so why not?? I am SOOOO excited!!!
Anyways, back to the Welcome Day - we heard the President do an introductory speech and then we were supposed to go to "mini sessions" the rest of the day, but K pitched a fit that she didn't want to do that, so we went to one session, an informational fair (tables with flyers about stuff), and then lunch in the dining hall. Let me tell you about this dining hall - the food was SLAMMING! They had 2 different kinds of pasta, one with red sauce and meatballs and the other with chicken and alfredo and both were sooo good! They also had mini breadsticks that were delicious. K is going to be eating VERY well at this school!
That night, we took it easy and ordered pizza at our Airbnb. K's cousin Sarah (who is from Chicago and who is also a freshman in college there but at a different school) and her mother came over for a visit, as well as one of my MIL's friends, a fellow "squirrel" (super fan of the band Toad the Wet Sprocket...don't ask). My MIL knows SO many people and has so many friends! I literally have ONE friend, Brittany! We had a nice night of drinking red wine, eating pizza and brownie bites (Trader Joe's), and laughing. It was nice to see my MIL distracted and laughing with the company of others as I know the situation with L weighed heavily on her.
The next day was our last day in Chicago as me, my MIL, and her husband would be flying back home to the South. We met up with Sonya and her husband in Chinatown for lunch at this delicious restaurant called Emperor's Choice. We filled the table with food and all shared, having some of everything. It was delicious and a perfect way to end the trip.
I thought I was going to Uber myself to the airport, but we wrapped up lunch in enough time for Sonya and them to take me, so off we went. As we crawled through the city of Chicago toward the airport, I actually got nervous about not making my flight. By the time we got to the airport, I knew I was going to have to run to make it. Sonya jumped out and was like, here follow me! She took me to these curbside concierge guys who checked my bag for me right there (for a $10 tip) so I could skip having to go to the counter inside and wait in line. With my bag taken care of, I ran straight to security which luckily wasn't busy at all and I got right through. I literally arrived at my gate as my section of the plane was boarding. LOL a little too close for comfort for me! I even scored a window seat and no one sat beside me! The best!
So, that was the trip to Chicago. I absolutely loved the part of Chicago we stayed in and I have no idea what Nick is talking about when he shares his dislike of the place. I actually enjoyed Chicago more than I thought I would and I would 100% go back and visit any time.
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What was really annoying was that Nick started shit with me literally *the instant* I walked in the door home from Chicago. I knew he had been out drinking that day, but he was home by the time I landed. He had already eaten, so I picked up McDonald's (chicken nuggs) on my way home. When I walked in the door, Nick was clearly asleep on the couch, but he blearily sat up and looked at me. He must have been pretty out of it because he didn't get up and hug me or anything. I let him be and went into the other room to put my suitcase away and change.
When I came back out, he was sleeping soundly again. I got a plate for my food and was about to settle down on the couch to watch one of my TV shows when I realized he had fallen asleep holding the remote. I gently pried it from his hands which made him wake up. He woke up and instantly became angry at me, saying all I wanted to do was watch TV and not even tell him about my trip. I told him I hadn't told him about my trip because his ass had been ASLEEP. Dumbass. He still stormed off into the guest bedroom and slammed the door. What the fuck? I just got home from being gone for FIVE DAYS helping HIS FAMILY move HIS SISTER into her dorm for college, and this is the thanks I get? Like what the actual fuck. The next day, he insisted that I had been watching my show when he woke up and that I hadn't bothered to talk to him. I slowly and clearly explained that he was asleep when I got home (he didn't remember sitting up and looking at me) and that he only woke up when I pulled the remote from his hand. Bitch. He still to this day holds that I was wrong in that instance, somehow. He's delusional.
He's been getting angry at me over little things often lately and it's pissing me off. For example, I'll express my opinion on something and if it's not in line with his opinion, he'll get angry and say that I'm "always against" him and "never on his side". I've gotten to the point of just not sharing shit with him if he's always going to have a problem.
Last weekend, we finally had a weekend together in our town and he ruined it for me with his constant complaining and negativity. He doesn't realize how much he bitches and whines over stupid shit. It comes across as pathetic to me that a grown 35-year-old man can handle so little. Annoying. I literally have visions during these times of what it would be like to be with a different man, a man who is positive and fun and who doesn't get bent out of shape over everything. A man who, if there was a problem, would stay calm and solve the problem, or at least be a fun person to be with during a shitty situation. Here's an example of Nick's whining over small problems. He ordered food from a food truck and they gave him a beeper that would go off when his food was ready. Mere minutes after he ordered, he thought he heard the beeper, so he went to the truck to get his food. The guy on the truck told him no, his food wasn't ready yet. Nick asked when his food would be ready, and the guy said when the beeper goes off. Fair enough. Nick got offended by that and took what the guy said personally, and then went on a rant where he belittled and berated the guy for being a "loser" who works in a hot food truck (not to the guy's face, to me after he got back from the food truck). See? It takes literally *nothing* for him to become angry and stoop to nasty and sometimes crude insults about someone. I get he's allowed to feel his feelings of anger, annoyance, etc. but it's too much when it's ALL THE TIME over EVERYTHING. His reactions often do not match the situation.
When we were in Europe, K literally said that the trip would be "a thousand times worse" if Nick were with us. She's probably right! It's just disappointing to me that I have more fun and am less stressed when Nick is not around as his presence is often not a reassurance, especially if the situation is at all difficult in any way (such as it can be when traveling). Ugh. I've said all of this to him many times, for years, in a thousand different ways, but he never thinks he's in the wrong. Annoying!!!
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Let's see, what else?? I'm in the swing of things at work, but everything is going well so far. Tomorrow is Friday and idk why, but I'm especially looking forward to it as I know Nick will be gone and out of my hair for a while and I have some good shows lined up. That just brings me such joy to be peaceful and alone in my own home with good shows, some wine, and some good food (brought to me by DoorDash!). I'm thinking sushi tomorrow! :)
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Oh yeah, I signed my mom, my sisters, and me up for a pet painting class, which is coming up soon. This artist takes a digital pic of your pet and transfers it to a wooden plaque, which we then embellish with paint, foil, glitter, etc. My older sister also doesn't have kids like me and we basically are both becoming crazy cat ladies (who just happen to be married and not old spinsters). The artist asked for the pics of our cats so she could prepare for the class and it took us both AGES to pick just one damn picture of our cats lol. We both poured through hundreds (my sister said "thousands") of pics of our cats to find the best ones for our paintings. Lol we are ridiculous. I'll have to find a way to post a pic in here once they're done. It sounds like fun!
12:40 p.m. - Thursday, Sept. 14, 2023