happyone

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What a Dream

Here's another little update for ya. I had a fantastic summer that involved lots of tasty foods and drinks, so I've basically gained back all the weight I had lost last fall. I'm back at 237. Wtf I'm supposed to be getting under 200 so I can get pregnant and have a baby!

Sigh. I've been fat for so long that I just don't think I'll ever lose significant weight without something major, like surgery. I was recommended for weight loss surgery by my OBGYN a few years ago but never followed up. I don't know, that just seems invasive and scary. I don't want to forever alter my stomach and live off of tablespoons of food. Food is one of my most favorite things in life, so that's definitely a no go.

I just can't seem to break some very bad habits, like major snacking and binge eating after work. The usual culprits are popcorn or chips and salsa. I just get these intense cravings where I have to have it! Is that a disorder, or something? It definitely doesn't feel normal.

Anyways, what else is new? Oh yeah, the friend who came and visited me in my last post finally got engaged to her boyfriend. She, unfortunately, did not get the giant diamond ring that she was hoping for. She told her boyfriend she wanted one bigger than her sister's, who has a 2 carat diamond ring, but he didn't do that lol. It's still a very pretty ring and it has sentimental value because the main diamond came from a necklace that his Mexican grandfather gave his grandmother. Even still, I've heard that she hates the ring and already wants to alter it in some way. We are all treading lightly around her because she has the potential to become a mega bridezilla. For example, she bought a wedding dress but then pitched a fit and said she didn't actually like it and that her mom "strong armed" her into buying it. WTF

The only other news is that Nick is looking for a new job. He was told that he has reached his maximum pay for his position and will only ever receive "cost of living" raises from now on. A lot of people at his job were told that. That really infuriated him and he's been intensely searching for a new job. I think he's applied to about 5 or 6 places. He did interview at a place that we thought would be perfect, but it turned out they had stupid hours - they didn't open until 11 am and they worked "until finished", which could be 8 hours, 12 horus, or more! The weird schedule was enough to decline the job, but we were both disappointed because we had been so excited.

I admit, I can be doubtful when it comes to job talk because he is limited - he has no college degree and no trade or skill of any kind. Sure, he now has 5 years of warehouse experience and 1 year of lead experience, but it's still going to be tough to find a respectable business with the pay and hours he wants. I really do hope he finds something because we really need to start saving money for this whole baby thing. We literally both have no money right now. I can't do math and paid too much to my credit cards trying to pay them off. I've now got less than $300 in the bank with still 2 weeks to go until pay day. What an idiot! I hate having so little money. And this is even after I got a $4000 raise this year (it equated to an extra $180/month). I need to get better about my spending. I don't need to buy any new makeup for the next few years lol. I'm not upgrading my iPhone like I have for the last several years. I can tell I'm getting older because I'm becoming more boring and responsible. I want to pay things off instead of having new, shiny things. In 4 years, my car will be paid off and *hopefully* my student loans will be forgiven. That right there will open up an extra $500/month. What a dream!

2:57 p.m. - Thursday, Sept. 12, 2019

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