happyone's Diaryland Diary


More Positivity, Please!

How’s quarantine going for everyone? I’m definitely getting stir crazy...I miss my mom so much! I haven’t been able to visit her in over 2 months. However, my sister and Nick’s brother have visited, so that lifted helped lift our spirits.

Nick is also re-unemployed...he got hired and started a new job on April 24 only to be let go on April 30. It was another job that just wasn’t a good fit. He’s been at home with me ever since. Luckily, he finally got approved for unemployment assistance a couple of weeks ago so he does have some money coming in. We are both very thankful for that! Thanks to the extra unemployment benefits due to the coronavirus, he actually makes just $10 less than me per month! What’s sad is that he is making way more money on unemployment than he would at any of the jobs he’s applying for. Of course, that won’t be the case when the extra benefit ends in July.

I’ve done some small home improvement projects with my time. I replaced our attic pull down string (which was 18 years old and ugly and dirty) with an elegant chrome hook. I’ve also windexed all of my windows and dusted my blinds. Just today, I repainted the dingy trim underneath my kitchen cabinets. It made a big difference! I just reread this paragraph and I’m struck at how...domestic...and completely age 31 I sound! I’m definitely at that age where making my home nice is fun.

In other news, I have surpassed the big 250. I currently weigh my heaviest at 254 lbs. My eating and drinking has definitely not been the best since quarantine started.

You know, I’m tired of being a broken record and talking about how I drink too much and should stop or cut back. I need to not just say it, I need to do it. Re-reading some of the entries in this journal, I have to admit that nothing, truly nothing, good has come from alcohol. It’s made me gain significant weight, cause awful arguments and fights with my loved ones, damage my own property (flat screen TV), and risk the lives of myself and others by driving while impaired.

I’m 31 and I take daily blood pressure and heart burn medications, both conditions that are caused by obesity. I’m not getting any younger and I really need to make positive changes for my health and future. If Nick and I ever decide to have kids, my weight is a problem. At my current weight, it’s not an option.

I really would like to be more positive in general, with what I write, with what I eat and drink, with my interactions with others, etc.

11:31 p.m. - Wednesday, May. 27, 2020


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