I register for school tomorrow. I have two weeks until I go back to school. I CAN'T BELIEVE SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER! Man, when I first got out of school, the summer looked endless...I'm dumb and somehow always think that the summer will last forever and I'll never arrive at the point where I actually have to go back to school again...Sadly, I'm approaching that point, like I (deep down inside) knew it would. UGH, another YEAR.

I hate it how in the summer, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. But during the school year, school RULES your life. On school nights, we pretty much can't go out anywhere because we have to stay at home and get that homework done and make sure we're in the bed at a decent hour. In the summer, I always go to bed sometime in the AM (I've actually never gone to bed at PM...wow), and I wake up later that day at 12:30 pm, when the soaps start. My week days are only structured by watching soaps from 12:30-2:00 pm, the rest of the day is up for grabs. BUT SCHOOL-school takes over!!! They've got you waking up at 6:00 in the morning and going until 4:00 in the afternoon. Then by the time you actually get out of school, you're so worn out that you just want to go home and take a nap (which I often do after school...especially the first week of school...that first week is a KILLER). If you ever do have the energy to go out to eat or somewhere, you have to rush home and not stay out late. I hate that feeling of going out on a school night and looking at the clock and seeing 8:00, and feeling like I've been out too late and that I've gotta get home! 8:00 is considered "late" during a school night. 8:00!!!! During the summer, oh gosh...late = around 1:00 AM (when you're actually out somewhere, not bedtime). There have been several times when we've gone over to my mom's best friend's house and just ate dinner, talked, watched movies until 1:00 in the morning, and then we finally went home. SCHOOL SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO RULE YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS!

Anyways, at least this is my LAST year of high school, which I've heard goes by fast. Then in college, you can make your own schedule (not in all cases), and in my case, my own schedule = all afternoon classes. My life won't be controlled by the homework I've gotta get home and do, or the school day that I've gotta wake up early for. I'll have some more freedom. That's why I'm actually looking forward to college, even though it's radically different from high school and is kind of shocking and scary at first. I know I'll get used to it.

I remember in middle school, I would look out the window to the high school (which was next door) and be so scared. I was so afraid of the prospect of having to eventually cross over to the the HIGH SCHOOL, dun dun DUN! I'm not exactly sure why I was afraid of it-I guess it's just that "unknown" factor. Plus, in my little naive mind, I thought high school would be the way it is in movies like Clueless-the kids pretty much run amok in the school, talk on cell phones during class, the whole popular crowd being THE coolest thing there, etc. Luckily, high school IS NOT like that, which I'm glad!

At my school we don't really have a popular crowd...maybe it's because my school is big (2,000+ students). We have some popular people that everyone knows, but there really isn't a crowd that everyone's dying to get into. I actually like my school's social atmosphere. I'm not trying to label people, I'm just going to put them in "categories". We have the preppy/rich kids (most of the popular people come out of this group), of which some are actually nice. We've got some snotty rich kids, of course, but most of them aren't that bad, really. Then we've got the whole goth/emo crowd of kids who wear black & have peircings (and the boys wear girl's pants). A lot of them are actually pretty cool & normal if you get to know them, but their appearance can put you off from talking to them. Then there's the, I guess you could say, "nerdy" group. Not all of them are "nerds" in the sense that they wear glasses, are really skinny and smart, etc. They just are really into stuff like Dungeons & Dragons, anime, and stuff like that. They're mostly nice people too, if you can get past the endless talk of this or that anime character or some new video game. Next there's the drugs/drinking people. They are basically just the people who like to smoke up and get drunk. A lot of different people actually go into this category. Pretty much people from all the other groups also go into this group, too. I know a loooot of people who do drugs, but not all of them are bad people. For example, there was this boy in my Latin class who I KNOW smokes, but for some reason I get the feeling he's a good guy, past all the drugs and whatnot. Like, he actually tried to learn in Latin class (and was even pretty good at it), while his other smoker friends didn't care about learning, just smoking it up in the parking lot during lunch (even though he did that a few times, too). I'm not trying to say that all people who do drugs or whatever are bad people, but most of the people (that I know) that do that kind of thing, aren't people I would want to hang around and be influenced by, you know? I'm not saying that if I hung around someone who does drugs, that I would start doing drugs too-not at all! That's the point-I would never ever do drugs and stuff, which is why I wouldn't even want to be around those people, ya dig? Smoking weed or whatever doesn't make them a bad person, it just means they're making bad choices, and I choose not to hang out with people who make bad choices like doing drugs. Anyways, the last group is pretty much the rest of us, who are just plain normal people. We don't do drugs, we aren't nerds, we aren't preppy and rich, we just are. All of my closest friends at school (even though I'm not super duper close with anyone at school) are in the normal group. Just normal kids trying to get good grades & get through the year (without doing drugs, playing video games 24/7, or having parents buy them a BMW). Just normal kids who are all around nice people. I'm a part of that crowd.

Okay, so that was my schpiel on the groups of people that go to my school. Interesting and fun stuff, huh?!?!

For some really weird reason, I keep thinking about cutting my knee with a razor while shaving. Not that I'm afraid I will, I rarely cut myself...I'm just thinking about that feeling of when you cut your knee with a razor...the little sting, and then you see the blood...It's WEIRD, I KNOW! I just keep thinking about that stinging sensation on my knee, I don't know whyyyy!

12:51 a.m. - August 04, 2006


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