today.

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2021

Happy New Year! We have made it through the nightmare that was 2020.

Despite how terrible 2020 was for the entire world, I must admit that I made it out pretty much unscathed. All family members are alive and well, we have roofs over our heads, and food in our cabinets. Nick did lose his job (and still hasn't found another), but we still were able to pay all of our bills. I was even able to put away a good chunk into savings thanks to the student loan payment deferment, which sadly ends this month. My point is, it could have been much, much worse. I just hope me or my family don't catch the virus right on the eve of receiving the vaccine.

A review of the holiday:

-December 23rd: We had a snack fest of finger foods at my mom's house. We had various cheeses and crackers, charcuterie, olives, pickles, smoked oysters, bacon-wrapped scallops, mini crab cakes, pigs in a blanket, sausage balls, ham ball, vegetable tray, various nuts, fruit tray, you name it. It was VERY tasty!

-December 24th: We had our famous standing rib roast dinner at Amber's house. We had it with homemade mashed potatoes and asparagus casserole.

-December 25th: We did breakfast and presents at Amber's house. Our Christmas breakfast had scrambled eggs, bacon and grits from a local farm (the BEST), giant cinnamon rolls, and chocolate milk. This is just what we do, okay? It is sooooo good! After breakfast, we opened presents. My older sister, Angel, was very generous this year and got many gifts for everyone. They were all small and inexpensive, but still! And they were all neatly and individually wrapped...that must have taken her forever. Very thoughtful! The best gift I gave was the soundbar & subwoofer I got for my mom's tv. I hooked it up for her and she LOVES it. She really loves her tv experience even more now because her tv sounds like she's at the movie theater (it really does!).

When Nick asked what I wanted for Christmas, I told him a bottle of my favorite perfume. There were 2 options on Amazon, one for $41 (for 1.7 ounces) and one for $58 (for 3 ounces). I told him I wanted the $58 one because 3 ounces of that perfume typically costs over $100 and it was the better buy. He lamely argued with me about getting the $41 instead but he eventually did pay for the $58 one. You may think I'm being insensitive, insisting on a more expensive gift when he has no job. Umm, he spends about $45 EVERY WEEK on his beer haul. Having no job has not stopped him from spending almost $200/month on beer. If he can spend that much on himself every week, he can budget to buy me a gift once per YEAR. Like, come on. He just seems...not that giving sometimes in terms of gifts.

Meanwhile, Amber's husband got her the grandest iPhone money can buy right now - the iPhone 12 Max Pro with 512 GB of storage. That's a $1400 phone BEFORE tax! Okay sure, Amber's husband does have a job and he makes good money, but that is still extremely generous! Amber's husband makes good money because he chooses to work 12-hour swing shifts, overtime, and holidays.

Nick only wants a job that is Monday through Friday, 7:00-3:30, no overtime, no weekends. Umm, he's had a 9 month vacation. He needs to change his idea of what he wants in a job and just find something and start WORKING. I also pray it gives me time alone, as I've said many, many times.

We made up after our big fight before Christmas, obviously. It always seems that no matter how bad we fight, we almost go back to normal the next day. He might sleep in the other room for a night or things might be a little tense between us the next day, but it's not long before we're laughing at inside jokes and he's climbing on me for hugs and kisses. I appreciate how forgiving he is because the fights we've had and the things I've done over and over again would have been enough to end our relationship many times over. Yet, here we are, still together. We enjoyed our Christmas together with our families.

We went over to Nick's mom's house the evening of the 25th to see his mom, stepdad, younger brother C, and younger sister, K. His younger brother, L, is still avoiding him and wasn't there. We exchanged presents and then we all ate dinner at different times. I thought it would have been nicer had we all eaten at the same time, but that's how they do things over there. Like, I literally ate my steak dinner alone at the table while his mom and sister were on their phones texting and Nick was outside smoking cigars with his stepdad. Oh well. We didn't see Nick's grandparents because they decided it was too risky to get together (they're 75). They were going to come and we were all going to stay outside with masks, but the weather on Christmas Day just happened to be in the 30s!

-December 26th: It was a very lazy day. Slept in, watched tv. We eventually went back to Amber's house because she had used the leftover rib roast bones to make soup, so we had soup with baguettes that we dipped into it...delicious!

-December 27th: Nick and I briefly went to the mall because I had a return and he wanted to look at shoes. We then went back to his mom's house to see his family again. His mom had ordered pizza and this time we all ate at the same time lol. We spent most of the afternoon/evening with them and I got drunk on prosecco and watched the new Pixar movie Soul with K. K is 16 and just has the funniest personality. I have a lot of fun with her. She's definitely becoming a young woman. It was even more fun because K is allowed to have *some* prosecco as well (though she sometimes sneaks extra).

-December 28th: We had one last amazing Christmas breakfast of bacon, eggs, and grits and watched the movie A Street Cat Named Bob. If you haven't seen it, you must! It's such a good, sweet movie. It was even more special now that I have my own orange tabby cat, Ollie. Speaking of Ollie, he still is just the best little cat. He is so good and sweet. Nick and I love him very much! After watching the movie, we loaded all of our stuff up and made the hour and a half drive home.

-December 31st: My mom and Amber came up to visit Nick and me in OUR house and town for New Years. We got a massive Japanese feast of sushi and hibachi. It was sooo good. We made homemade pork carnitas tacos for dinner and we all made it to midnight to welcome in 2021!

-January 1st: We picked up lunch from a local BBQ place. I got *double* BRISKET with jalapeno cheese grits and macaroni and cheese. And let's not forget collards for money! I didn't eat my black eyed peas for good luck...oops.

-January 2nd: Nick actually went to hang out with a friend at a brewery for the day. This "friend" has been out of contact with Nick for about a year, so he was surprised to hear from him but glad to have a friend to hang out with again. While he was gone, I had a Chinese feast with my mom and Amber. I'm talking lo mein, Singapore noodles, dumplings, crab rangoons, and spring rolls. Yesssssss. My mom and Amber went home shortly after that.

And that is how the new year has gone so far. I have only made 2 New Years Resolutions this year:

1. Walk more (hopefully thereby maybe just maybe decreasing my weight??).
2. Increase my positive interactions with Nick (hopefully thereby decreasing negative interactions).

To walk more, I joined this game called StepBet, where you can earn money for meeting walking goals. To increase positive interactions with Nick, I'm going to work on being less irritable with him and not being so quick to anger. Being around anyone 24/7 is difficult and we've pretty much been around each other 24/7 for 9 months and counting. That is really, really hard for me. I need and value alone time. I really, really hope he finds a job that gives me that. Of course, I hope it's something he loves and something that will make him feel proud of himself again. I hope he makes new friends as well.

Here's to 2021!

2:39 p.m. - Tuesday, Jan. 05, 2021

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