There is NO Competition

I'm writing another entry only a day after I've written one? So it seems. I've missed writing!

My mom and I did indeed get our Bruegger's Bagels this morning and we did indeed do our taxes. I will be getting a decent refund this year, but it's less than half of what I paid. I guess that's one thing I miss about being a student...the government shows pity on you and gives you all of your money back because you are poor and have nothing. Now that I have a real job that pays a decent wage but no mortgage or kids to deduct, they figure they can keep some of my money. Ouch.

After doing taxes, my mom and I went to a paint store and I bought her a can of paint for her room that she's going to redecorate. Then, we met up with Cindy (my mom's bff who is like an aunt to me) and her daughter, E, for dinner at my FAVORITE restaurant. This restaurant serves broasted chicken, which is somewhat like fried. It is so salty and delicious, and definitely not on my diet plan! Oh well, gotta live a little on the weekends. We had a good time having dinner together like old times.

I actually haven't seen E in a long time. She's a nurse, so she often works on weekends when I'm in town visiting. I've mentioned E in many of my past entries...she's the one that has historically always tried to one up me and prove that she's better than me. All of that has lessened in recent years, perhaps because we are adults nearing our 30s and don't need to be acting like that. I just find it fascinating because for once in our lives, the tables are totally turned. She used to be the one who always had a boyfriend. Now I'm the one with a boyfriend that I've been with for over a year and I know is "the One". When we had a moment alone at dinner, she immediately asked me when N and I are getting hitched. To me, that was her way of finding out how serious our relationship is and if N and I are still going strong. I told her that we've agreed that we'd get married by age 30, which is within 3 years. She asked, "So that's when you'll get a promise ring?" I was like, a promise ring? No, it's called an engagement ring, the real deal. See, it's like she doesn't even believe that N will actually propose with a real ring. She's hoping it won't happen, maybe. Anyway, while she's been dating guys here and there, she's been striking out. Her last serious relationship was years ago. We somewhat bonded a few years ago when we shared our heartache about being in friends with benefits relationships with guys we wanted more with (N was the guy, by the way). Maybe she's jealous that my friend with benefits situation actually turned into a relationship and hers didn't. I was able to make a guy choose being solely with me over the option of being able to sleep around. Ok ok, I don't want to get cocky haha. Either way, I know she is jealous that I have a boyfriend (and a sexy one at that, damn) who adores me, extra pounds and all. You would think a "friend" would be happy for you in such a situation, but not so with this one.

E also used to brag about possibly becoming a lawyer or doctor, all the while putting down my decision to become a school psychologist. But now I'm the one who has completed graduate school and has started my career that I love. While she does currently have a full time job as a nurse (kudos to her for that), she is currently applying to graduate schools because she does not want to be a floor nurse forever. The work is incredibly tough, and the pay doesn't reflect that. So, she has yet to go through the hell that is graduate school to get the job she really wants, whereas I am totally done with school forever and have the job I want and love. I think she's also jealous of my job...I probably get paid close to what she does, but I don't work 12 hour shifts or on weekends, and I get lots of holidays (2 weeks at Christmas, 1 week for spring break, 6 weeks for summer, plus various holidays like MLK, President's Day, etc.).

You know, the best part out of all of it is that I don't really care about E and her competition anymore. Sure, I might feel slight satisfaction that for once she can't say anything because I'm the one who is doing well, but because I am doing so well, I'm happy! When you're truly happy, there is no competition! I also wish her nothing but the best. I'm not going to be jealous when she completes graduate school and gets a job in the medical field making exponentially more than I do, and I won't be jealous when she finally does find a boyfriend. I'll be happy for her! I'll be happy for her because I am truly happy for me. I don't have to be disappointed or jealous of other people's success because I have everything I want. I'm in a great place in life right now. I'm no longer desperately lonely and miserably depressed. Instead, I am happy, loved, and confident. It's a great feeling!

Anyways, after dinner, my mom and I went over to Cindy's house to hang out for a bit. We watched this show about these crazy men who refuse to be part of society by living out in the woods in Alaska. This guy literally made a "shelter" (to LIVE in) by wrapping saran wrap around trees. His shelter was quickly destroyed by falling tree limbs in a storm. Besides, using saran wrap isn't shunning society because it has to be bought at a store! Ughhh. We also watched Downton Abbey while drinking tea, so I felt kind of British for a bit.

So, that was my day! I've been really enjoying being back home with my mom and Cindy. It feels like the good 'ole days! I've missed my family!

1:06 a.m. - Sunday, Feb. 01, 2015


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