I'm typing this very quickly. I did a bad thing. On Friday night after N left to visit a friend in another town, I invited D over to watch a movie.

D is the guy I dated briefly before N and I became official. We have kept in touch even though we haven't seen each other in 5 months. I have wanted to hang out with him as a friend, but N quickly shot that idea down. I don't blame him. I wouldn't want him hanging around some girl he briefly dated!

Anyways, I had already drank a 1.5 L bottle of red wine by the time D came over around 10 pm...with two more 1.5 L bottles, which we shared. Nothing inappropriate happened at all. Even in my really drunk state, I knew I didn't want to do anything I would regret, especially since I love N so much. All we did was drunkenly watch the movie 40 Year-Old Virgin, which I can't even remember now. All I remember is Steve Carrell getting his chest waxed, haha.

D mentioned that he's lost 30 lbs since I last saw him, and I told him I've gained about 20 lbs since he last saw me. He said he couldn't tell and that I'm a beautiful woman. When he left, he gave me a big hug and told me not to make him wait another 5 months to see me again. Errr...

He knows I am very much in a relationship and in love my boyfriend, so I don't think I'm leading him on. He knows where I stand. In fact, he clearly wanted to kiss me as he was going out the door to leave, but I turned away and said no, and he wasn't offended.

Anyways, I can't believe I did that! I'm glad I got to see D, though. I just feel bad that I had to sneak and that I'm basically lying to N by not telling him about it...which I never will.

Am I horrible? Probably.

11:28 p.m. - Sunday, Mar. 23, 2014


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