Snow Day

I should have known that I wouldn't be enough for a man. Man is not fulfilled by just having one woman; he must have multiple at his disposal.

N is still texting Linda a lot, and I'm too insecure to say anything. I'm sure if I did, he'd say they're just work friends and besides, they're both in relationships so there's nothing kooky going on. Yep, that's definitely what I would hear. It still doesn't feel good to sit beside him while he texts her and re-reads their conversations all night.

All I could think of to do is to "go to bed early" and retreat to our room while he finishes a movie out in the living room. I just don't want to sit there and hear his phone go off all night. I've been working early mornings and late nights, so I've been pretty much coming home, eating dinner, and going to bed. Even though we had a good weekend, we haven't actually spent much time together so far this week. I work early in the mornings so I go to bed early, and he doesn't work until late afternoon (if at all), so he gets to stay up late and sleep in. Our schedules just haven't been matching up.

We haven't even had sex in a several days. I bet he's pleasured himself over and over to the thought of Linda, so he has no need to have sex with me since he's already satisfied. Ok, I'm probably going too far, but who knows? Yesterday, I had work from 8 am to 8 pm and N worked 8 am to 4 pm, and I was just convinced that him and Linda hung out or did something together after their shifts were over. I wasn't going to be around for 4 more hours, so he could get away with it, whatever it was. I know he is probably innocent and I am just being a psycho, but I can't help the way I feel. I hate myself, so it's not hard for me to believe that my boyfriend wants someone else.

Sigh, oh well. It's not like I can stop it if it is happening. Guess I'll end up alone and miserable soon, like always. I'm hoping that school is cancelled tomorrow due to the snow so I can sleep in and just laze around in my pjs. That would be amazing!

10:01 p.m. - Tuesday, Jan. 28, 2014


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