Rainy Day

It was a nasty, rainy day today. I'm so glad I don't have to go to work and I got to sit inside this morning with a nice, warm cup of coffee and watch it rain outside. So great!

I was able to get most of my Christmas shopping done yesterday. I went to one store and got almost everything I needed. I'm simple and like to do a one stop shop kind of thing, not the whole 'let me run around to every store for 10 hours' thing. I hate shopping enough as it is, but especially around this time of year. People are just insane and rude. I was standing in an aisle at Target looking at something, and this stupid family literally just kept coming at me with their cart, so I had to get out of the aisle unless I wanted to be ran over. They simply could have said "excuse me" or they could have gone around me. Bitches.

I was able to get N three things I think he'll like. I got him a pair of Guinness extra stout pajama pants because he loves Guinness and because he only has one pair of ACDC pj pants. I just had to get them when I saw them because they are so him. I also got him a nice journal since he is creative and likes to write stories and poems sometimes. All he has to write on right now is this crappy little notepad that he uses for everything else, like writing down places he's applied for jobs and stuff. I figured his creative writing needed a nicer place to go. The last thing I got him was a big summer sausage. He loves sausage, so surely he'll like that, right? I hope so, but then again he can be picky with his foods because he has particular refined tastes. Oh well, he better like it because I searched high and low for that sausage and ended up finding it at the end of a random aisle in a grocery store.

I must say that I do miss him. Even though I'm enjoying being with my family, I do miss his face and getting showered in kisses and hugs all the time. I still think the break from him was needed, though. We were texting last night, and he was saying the sweetest things, like he doesn't like it when I'm not with him and that he loves me and misses me. He even said that he'll love me forever, and I asked if he meant it. He asked how he could ever stop loving me and if I feel the same about him. I said that of course I feel the same, and that I started loving him long before he felt the same about me, which is why I would become so jealous and act a fool. He said it's true I had feelings for him first, but it all worked out in the end because now we're both in love. He said he wasted so much time on those other "hoe bags" and that he should have been with me 2 years ago. I said it was probably a good thing for me to have other experiences and to let go of something I wanted. Life lessons, ya know? And like he said, it all worked out in the end.

With all of that being said, he seems to be struggling to think of a Christmas gift for me. He keeps asking for ideas, and sadly I don't have any! There's nothing I really want or need. Still, shouldn't he know me well enough to be able to get me something without me having to tell him? I gave him an idea of what to get me for my birthday, and he got me exactly that. Not really a surprise, haha. I just feel like I know him better than he knows me, so I'm not expecting much. :( Well, that sounds nice and cheery, doesn't it?

I went to the movies today with my mom and sister to see the Madea Christmas movie, and it was pretty funny. Afterwards, I came home and made buttered garlic noodles for dinner because I'm a fat pig who doesn't eat healthy. At least they were whole grain noodles and at least I didn't buy a bottle of wine at the store. I thought about it but decided against it. Now that I'm home for the holidays and my mom is feeding me decent meals, I've been too full to drink. The thought is just unappealing.

Speaking of drinking, I think it'll be my New Year's resolution to dramatically cut back on how much and how often I drink. It doesn't do me any good to drink an entire 1.5 L of red wine on a Tuesday night. Even though I don't suffer from hangovers, I do suffer the consequences of downing a gazillion empty calories. I have easily put on 30 pounds from drinking. I was fat and hated my weight before I gained all of this extra weight, so you can imagine how I feel about myself now. NOT GOOD. So, I'm hoping at least some pounds will come off just from giving up drinking. That would be nice. I don't like being a whale. :(

I looking forward to Christmas Eve tomorrow, even though it's just going to be me, my sis, and our mom. Most of our family is dead, so we don't do big gatherings anymore. We are planning on having finger foods like chicken wings and little pizza rolls. Should be fun!

11:01 p.m. - Monday, Dec. 23, 2013


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