I hung out with my male friend, C, at his house this evening. I was slightly nervous about it just because I knew he would most likely make a move on me.

How predictable, that's exactly what he did. We were watching a movie in his room (sitting on his bed, of course) when he leaned in and kissed me on the commercial break. Making out ensued. I did not really enjoy it...I didn't like the taste of his mouth (it wasn't bad, just...too salty, or something), and he wasn't that great of a kisser...

Just as predictable, I compared kissing C to kissing N. Kissing N is much better, of course. Sigh. I need to let N go because he's not right for me. Get this-C's sister actually dated N back when they were teenagers. I know that was a long time ago, but the stories I heard were not of the guy I know. It made me feel like I don't know N at all, even though C and his sister are the ones who haven't known N for years. It made me feel like everything I know about N has been a lie, and in being stupid, I fell for it all. I don't know; I'm at a weird place right now.

Who can you really trust? Who do you really know? Only yourself, I guess, and sometimes even that is not the case.

11:38 p.m. - Saturday, Dec. 29, 2012


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