today.

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Walk Away

Letting go of someone is hard. I feel like I'm going through the stages of grief.

Right now, I'm at the stage where I'm remembering all of the good times I had with N, even though a lot of times weren't so good. Particular songs are also reminding me of times I spent with him, and I'm playing them over and over.

Sigh. Letting go of someone is especially hard if they text you wanting to know when you can cuddle again. Why isn't he out pursuing this dream girl he found at his job? Fuck him! I hate him! He could have had me so easily, but he was too busy falling in love with girls he doesn't even know that he didn't realize that the girl who was there all along fell in love with him. He didn't realize it, and now it's too late because the girl has realized she has to move on, no matter what her feelings are for him. She has to let him go.

I have had worse partings, but none that so
gnaws at my mind still. Perhaps it is roughly
saying what God alone could perfectly show
how selfhood begins with a walking away,
and love is proved in the letting go.

1:34 a.m. - Friday, Nov. 09, 2012

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