So, I've been trying to distance myself from N, my friend that I think I love. It's funny because it's utterly true that when you pull away, the guy suddenly is all interested! Thrill of the chase or whatever.

I had been blissfully not caring that I hadn't heard much from him for a week. Then, he called me last Friday, and I ignored it. The next morning, he sent me 4 texts at 6:45 am telling me about some weird lady who had tried to talk to him while he was out on his apartment's balcony smoking. He usually doesn't text me stuff like that, let alone that early in the morning. I ignored those texts. Got 2 more texts later that afternoon talking about his crappy day at work. I ignored those texts, too. He sent another text that night about some girl at his work (his "true love", apparently) who had rejected him. I ignored that, too. He sent ANOTHER text saying he would be in town the following evening. I ignored that for a while, and then sent him a generic text saying that I'm sorry he had a bad day at work and that I hope things get better. He normally NEVER texts me that much in one day, but because I was ignoring him, he just kept texting (or that's my hypothesis, anyway)!

I'm glad I'm doing this distancing thing because I am still way too attached to him. He texted me this evening, hoping I was doing well. I sent back a vague text, and he responded with 3 texts all about how all is not lost with the girl he's "in love" with at work (even though he had told me she rejected him). Apparently, he still has a shot with her, and this is his "last chance at true love", and he's "not going to let her get away". He even said that as long as he has breath in his body, he will strive to make this girl his. Yeah, it doesn't really feel too good to hear the person you have feelings for say he won't stop trying to make another girl his as long as he's living. No, a bit not good.

I haven't responded to that because I have nothing to say. He clearly is all about this other girl, so I just need to fade myself out of his life. I'm going to say less and less in texts, not respond right away, not answer his calls, and I'm definitely not going to see him in person. Of course I want to, but it's better if I didn't. He needs to focus on getting this other girl, the "love of his life", and just forget about me completely. I need to move on, and so does he.

11:23 p.m. - Monday, Oct. 29, 2012


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