Had orientation for 2nd year of my graduate program. I already am sooo overwhelmed and have no idea how I'm going to do all that is expected of me. Even though I just had two glorious months off this summer, I'm already mentally tired for what's to come this year. If I make it to May, though, I'll have a Master's degree.

It was weird being back in school with my classmates again since I haven't seen them all in two months...we had a welcome back get together with food and drinks, and while it was fun, I still can't help but feel like I can't relate to these girls. There are 8 other girls in my class (the 2nd years), and two are married, and the rest have serious boyfriends that they've been dating for at least 3+ years. Apparently, a lot of them are close to getting engaged. They spent a big part of the evening talking about what rings they would like and how they want their weddings to be.

I can't relate to that because I DON'T and HAVE NEVER had a boyfriend, let alone anything close to a fiance. Sure, I've met a guy who seems pretty interested in me, but he's still not my boyfriend. Oh yeah, and he's 3,000 miles away. Kind of inconvenient, no?

One of the girls actually got married just this past weekend. I was invited, but I didn't go, and I'm glad I didn't because I saw all the Facebook pictures of everyone happily coupled up. I would have been the only one there who lamely didn't have a date. I just feel left out and embarrassed that I don't have someone. Poor fat girl, she can't get anybody to like her. That's what I feel like.

Sigh. Anyways. I'm going to work on being less fat this semester. I'm going to eat a lot better and TRY to get to the gym. If I am going to have a Marine for a boyfriend anytime soon, WELL! I can't be a fat blob compared to his lean, mean bod...that's not fair to him. I don't even know why someone like him is even attracted to me! That's something I'll never understand.

Well, guess I better get some rest before another hellish day tomorrow.

10:31 p.m. - Monday, Aug. 20, 2012


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