fat blob

Today is my little sister's 20th birthday! Hooray!

I am disappointed in myself. I was just looking at pictures of me at my fittest, or at least the fittest I've ever been, and I'm sorry to say that I'm 20 pounds heavier than I was then. 20 pounds doesn't sound like a lot, but considering my "fittest" was at 160 pounds, weighing 180 (on a 5 foot 2 frame, no less) is NOT GOOD.

At least I've always been lucky in that I don't actually look like what I weigh (THANK GOD). I think I can pass for 10 pounds lighter than I actually am, so at 160, I looked like I was 150, which is average, and plus, I was toned from running and lifting weights.

I just feel like a fat blob now. I can feel the extra weight in my gut and arms, and I can see it in my puffy face. BOOOO. The worst part is that I am graduating from COLLEGE (four year degree, yes ma'm) in 46 days. I don't want to be a blob at my graduation, especially not since I bought the CUTEST outfit to wear. I mean, it looks good on me now, but I just need to shape up a little bit. Can I lose 20 pounds in 46 days? Probably, if I actually eat right and exercise. We'll see if that actually happens. I should just not eat because it is SO HARD to burn calories! I might as well not put them in in the first place. Ughhhh!

10:38 p.m. - Monday, Mar. 21, 2011


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