So, I'm not always the happy one. I can be terribly lonely.

As I've mentioned before, I am 22 and I have never been in a relationship. Not even close to one. I get depressed because it seems like everyone around me is paired up. Everyone I work with has someone, except this one guy, who is my age and single. Sometimes I think he flirts with me, but he was just telling us all today about the girl he is going to bring to a Christmas party. Everyone has someone, except me. Heck, my own best friend is already married and pregnant with her first baby.

I wonder what's wrong with me...alive for 22 years and never once wanted by someone else. By the sound of it, you would think I'm some ugly recluse that has no personality, but I'm not. I'm a smart, cute, happy girl with a bright smile and long wavy hair. Does that sound so terrible? Maybe it's because I don't really fit in with most people my age...they are all about fake ids, bars, getting drunk. I've never once been interested in that scene, and that won't change. Maybe it's because I have some extra pounds. I could stand to lose 50 lbs, but I am by no means a big, fat blob. Most people think I weigh a lot less than I actually do, and I do exercise. I've been into running for about a year now, and my blood pressure is 114/68, which is perfect. Besides, having extra weight can't be the reason why I've never had a boyfriend because a girl I work with is a lot bigger than me and she's had a steady boyfriend for years. Why does she get a boyfriend and I don't? Why doesn't anyone want me?

I have, of course, wanted someone. There have been a few guys over the years that I have obsessed over. They are single when I start obsessing, and then they get girlfriends, crushing my little, lonely heart. This is all too depressing. Everybody has someone except me, and apparently that's just the way it's supposed to be.

8:55 p.m. - Tuesday, Dec. 14, 2010


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