The year 2024 can go to hell.
Last week, my sister Amber told me that her husband (5 years married, 11+ together) had undergone yearly bloodwork, and one of the tests was elevated. The test that was elevated was the HIV test, and the doctor told him the results could be elevated due to actual HIV being present or due to something else, such as cancer or lupus. He was scheduled for additional bloodwork, and naturally, Amber became very worried, thinking the worst, but I don't think she realized then how much worse it would actually be...
At a follow-up appointment to go over the additional bloodwork, it was confirmed that her husband tested positive for HIV. So she had to ask him what he did to get that. It turns out this MOTHER FUCKER has cheated on my sister three times since they've been married!!!!!!! The first time was shortly after they got married, and he got jerked off by some skanky stripper at a strip club with military buddies. The second time was 6 months after their baby was born (around October 2022), and he got a blow job from a PROSTITUTE that he paid $100 (meanwhile, my sister was home with their baby, struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety). The third time was somewhat recently when he kissed some older woman at the gym (he's been big into working out and lifting weights for a minute now).
He says the HIV must have come from the prostitute, but in my Googling, the odds of an HIV-negative man contracting HIV from an HIV-positive person just from a blow job are very low, if not impossible. I think he is lying about the full extent of what he has done.
So, my poor, innocent, sweet sister had to go to the doctor and get tested for HIV. If he truly has been positive since late 2022, I don't see a way for him not to have passed it to her in all this time, as they haven't used condoms up until recently, as my sister went off birth control due to negative side effects. My sister tested negative for HIV when she was pregnant (August 2021-April 2022). If the current test comes back negative, she will have to be tested again in 3 months, 6 months, and 12 months to be sure it is completely negative. This makes me sick to even TALK about!!!!!!!
I cannot believe he did this. I mean, I kind of can because I've always thought he's a little "off." First, he basically turns into a mute in group settings around my family, despite knowing us all for 11+ years. He just sits there, expressionless and contributing nothing. Amber has defended him, saying he's an introvert who finds socializing exhausting. That's fine, but you first have actually to socialize to be exhausted by it, and him just sitting there saying and doing nothing does not count.
Second, he has gotten massages from masseuses for many years, and the masseuses he picks have always been young, hot women. That's never sat well with me, and I've always wondered if he's been getting "happy endings." I certainly would never let Nick be massaged by any woman, pretty or ugly! Never!
Third (and this goes back to the socializing thing), he is emotionless and expressionless 24/7. Amber has told me over the years that she's tried to get him to talk about his feelings, his day, stuff like that, and he just never has anything to say. My sister is a normal person with feelings and emotions, and he has told her that she is "hysterical" and that she needs "therapy" because it's "not normal" how much she worries about things. He is not emotionally supportive at all. For example, one of their cats ate a bunch of balloon string one time and became sick, so they took it to an emergency vet who said it would cost $3000 or something crazy to do tests, and he said, "Let the cat die," knowing how much she loves the cat! Mean!! Plus, who could do that to their pet??? And speaking of the cats, there was a time period when he had it out for the cats and was trying very hard to get rid of them. He'd complain to her about them daily to drive her nuts and to the point of re-homing them. He almost succeeded because she asked numerous friends and family (me included) if they'd be willing to take in her cats. We all said no, and the cats remained, but he badgered her about them for ages, and she almost cracked.
I've personally never understood exactly what she sees in him other than he has a decent job and makes good money. He is good to their son, but I cannot say he is a good father when he has disrespected his wife the way he has.
So not only did my sister have to get tested for HIV, but their 2-year-old son did, too! He put both of them at risk for his nasty, disgusting ways. He only thought of himself and no one else.
My sister and I have had many conversations about this, and I'm saddened to say that she has decided to forgive him and stay with him, even though he told her he would respect whatever she decides. He told her he'd move out and continue paying all the bills he's currently paying, plus whatever was needed for the house and their son. He said he'd give her full custody and never contest it in the future. I told her she should jump on that while he feels guilty, but she does not want to be a single parent. I get it, being a single parent is insanely hard, and we know this because our mom was one.
Even if he says he'll give her full custody, Amber is terrified that if they divorce, he could always change his mind in the future and take her to court. She doesn't want to lose even a minute with Max, so she won't leave him. She also sees him moving out and her having full custody as him "winning" in a way because she would then be 100% responsible for their kid with no help while he would get his freedom and no responsibilities. I see the reasoning there, but that's no reason to stay with a lying, cheating scumbag!!
I personally could not stay with someone who disrespected me like that. How can she keep him in the house, in her BED?? She claims they're sleeping separately "for now," but he's proven to be a man with a high libido, so her keeping him at bay isn't going to work for long unless he starts stepping out again. I just don't see how this can work as a relationship or marriage any longer because he has destroyed the trust.
Amber says he has expressed extreme remorse and I don't doubt that he is sorry, sorry he got CAUGHT. I asked her if she thought he'd have admitted his cheating if the HIV thing hadn't forced him to, and she acknowledged that he probably would have never told her if not forced to. That says all you need to know! He would have probably continued to cheat and lie!
I just feel so disgusted and heartbroken for my sister because she truly is the sweetest, most innocent, most loving, angelic person ever. She is the best wife and mother any dumb man could ever hope to have, and he fucked it completely up. I'm just pissed off that he did the most horrific thing with no consequence.
Even though I don't agree with her at all, I told her I love her and support her. This is her family, her life, and her decision at the end of the day. Our mom also does not agree and is completely sick over the situation. She said if our dad were still alive today, he'd have blown her husband's head clean off, and he would be very deserving of that.
2:36 p.m. - Monday, May. 06, 2024